ASK CAAT: How should I help my girlfriend get over her dead pet?

Thanks for the question. First and foremost, let her grieve. Let her understand that you know why she feels as she does and that it\’s okay. I can guarantee she already has a lot of people telling her that \’it\’s just a [pet]\’, or \’just get another one\’ (as if they can be \’replaced\’), or to just \’get over it.\’ All of those things are like a knife into the heart, placing guilt and shame on the person for having the feelings they do. When in reality, this woman has lost a very close family member, and part of her soul. So let her grieve and help her know that you understand why she is doing so.

Second, buy her a squishy stuffed animal. No, seriously. I explain it in this post I wrote about how to get through the loss of a pet: 12 Things You Can Do After Your Pet Passes — coming from you, though, will mean a lot to her.

One thing I don\’t have in that post, ironically, if she believes in it, is the understanding and possibility of connecting with her pet through an animal communicator. I try very hard not to \’hawk\’ what I do on Quora, but I will tell you, it gives great comfort to people for them to hear from their pets in spirit. Sometimes they just need to know they are \’okay\’ on the other side, other times they might feel some sort of guilt associated with the passing, which may be assuaged in the communication. It\’s not for everyone (which is why I didn\’t put it on the post), but for those who it is, it can sometimes be a great comfort. You just want to feel comfortable with whoever you choose: How to Choose: Animal Communicator v. Pet Psychic

The rest I think is covered in the post regarding \’things you can do when your pet passes\’, so support her in doing some of those things, because support and allowing her to feel and work through her grief, is the most important thing you can do right now. Let her talk about her pet, you talk about the fond things you remember of him/her. Don\’t be afraid to talk about him/her.

One of the things I notice, often, when I connect with a pet in spirit, is that they bring up happy and humorous times that make their pet mom or dad laugh. They want them to remember the joy they brought to their lives, not just the few hours, days or weeks of their illness or passing. So think of some of those things that will inspire those memories. Even if it makes her cry after, that\’s okay. I have a saying that I\’m in the only profession that if I make someone cry, I\’m doing my job right, because sometimes they just need that release, and if that release comes mixed with some joy and laughter, in remembering something about their pet, all the better.

Thank you for asking and wanting to support her. You\’re a good boyfriend. 🙂